I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
