Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
