Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Randomize
