dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The convent might be a nice break from real life
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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