I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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