it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
