A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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