Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize