k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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