a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
