It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
