this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
