My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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