He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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