So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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