There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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