So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
