Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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