Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
