sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
