Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
