Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
