But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
