I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
