The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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