lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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