The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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