my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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