i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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