3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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