saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
