i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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