Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
