He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
