I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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