Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
