where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
