thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
there is puke in my bra ... again
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize