New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
