he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
