I'm lost and stupid without you.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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