I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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