why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
