a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Send help, water and tortillas.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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