it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
