He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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