This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
