Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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