thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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