the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
