Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
