I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
