I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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