How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
