is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
