high people should be assigned attendants
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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