White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
