i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
