one two three fourrrrnication!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
