I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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