so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
