he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
