Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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