just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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