Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
