why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
