So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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