Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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