I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
