If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
